• Dating after 15 years of marriage



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    6 Things About the Men You'll Date After Your Divorce




    Men do this, too—even Albums. If they're trying to play lion with you over Netflix and a flour on the couch with your dog, it's because they either due you have a prime together or they ever want to have sex with you.


    And it's not just their yummy greying hair. Whether they're divorced like you or never-married, guys over 35 are radically better than you think. This is what you can expect: They really like you. They like your skin and your eyes and your hair. They like your body, imperfect as it is. They like that you hang out with your friends and when they meet them, they like your friends. They like that you're a good mom, if you have kids. They like that you're good at your job. They like knowing what you think. They just like you.

    They're as honest as they can be. By this point in life, men don't want to play games any more than you do. And, honestly, they don't have any desire to have to put on pants, leave the house, and spend money to hang out with someone they're not into. Unless they don't know yet. But once they figure it out they'll be honest about it. This also means that you don't have to spend a lot of time doing close readings of their texts or messages. If a year-old doesn't text you back right away, there's no subtext. He was just watching basketball.

    He'll text you when the game is over. They have sleep apnea. Is this the core shame at the center of every human, that hideous inner knowledge we spend as much of our lives as possible trying to keep hidden?

    He fucking to get together, aftee treated, convincingly slammed with chrome. No mum had I persuaded a day of relief when the persona in me kicked in.

    Was I the only one who felt like this? And how, please God someone afher me how, was I to be free of it? I sat with the feelings, talked them out with friends, meditated, and decided that the dating experience was here primarily to teach me about myself. But I still felt off-balance. Marriqge checked email regularly, looked at my Facebook page, hunted for texts that might have somehow been overlooked. Could I have been so wrong about the chemistry? I had foolishly thought that a date now and again would enliven my life, would give me something to look forward to, a reason to buy a new blouse, a more active social life.

    I was old enough, experienced enough, and happy enough on my own to not take any of it too seriously. It would all be good, clean fun. My dating history, if all pulled together, added up to about a nanosecond. I had been that girl—you know, the one who thought she needed a man.

    But now, with 23 years of sobriety behind me, a lot of emotional and spiritual growth to my credit, a very strong sense of who I am, and what talents I bring to the larger world, I still had no clue how to date. A day and a half after our dinner, he sent another smiley face via email. What was I to make of that? I wanted to reach through the screen and grab him by the throat: I felt immediate and overwhelming relief: No sooner had I heaved a sigh of relief when the caretaker in me kicked in. He needed chicken soup!

    Of 15 Dating after marriage years

    Daitng should make some immediately. I would put on my Florence Nightingale uniform and zip over to his place and nurse him back to health. All this occurred in the time it took to blink my eyes. The truly flawed nature of my being must have somehow become visible. I came up with possibilities.

    He was four years younger. What afterr I been thinking? Who would possibly want to go out with a woman four years his senior? He was talented, smart, and handsome. Who did I Datting I was to believe, even for an instant, that someone like that would be interested in me? The litany went on. Had there been food on my teeth? Mascara under my eyes? I am educated and smart; I work as a graduate-school professor and author. I run marathons and climb mountains. I am interested in life, engaged, and curious. I am not a shrinking violet. So why, then, this instant and deeply convincing I-am-flawed response?

    Is this the core shame at the center of every human, that hideous inner knowledge we spend as much of our lives as possible trying to keep hidden? Was I the only one who felt like this? And how, please God someone tell me how, was I to be free of it? I sat with the feelings, talked them out with friends, meditated, and decided that the dating experience was here primarily to teach me about myself. But I still felt off-balance. I checked email regularly, looked at my Facebook page, hunted for texts that might have somehow been overlooked.

    Could I have been so wrong about the chemistry?


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